Roast jokes

Life is too short, just like me. Get roasted, short people!

To All The Naruto Fans:

Sharingan is red, Rasengans are blue, If you dare touch my daughter, I'll Chidori you!

Your mom is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing.

You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."

I have to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.

Friend, you so faaaat.

Me: Boy, at least I'm not built like a Nintendo Switch.

Roses are red, colors are blue, if I was you, I'd look like you.

Your hairline is so far back, it left before your dad.

I didn't know that COVID-19 was a thing until I saw your eyebrows and your hairline social distancing.

Me and my friend roasting each other.

Friend: You look like a baboon.

Me: Stop talking, you look like a gorilla, so I might call animal control on you and I'll be seeing you at the zoo!

1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.

2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.

3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.

4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.

5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.

7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.

8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.

9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.

10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?

11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.

12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.

Yo mama so fat she broke the stairway to heaven...

You look like the 0.01 percent of bacteria the Lysol didn't kill.

I'm not saying you're ugly, but you're the reason God created miscarriages!

Your mom went to the ocean, and the whales said, "We are family," even though you are fatter than me.

Your hairline goes so far back, the dinosaurs saw it before you did.

Yo mama is so fat and old, when Jesus said "Let there be Light!" he told your mama to move out of the way!

Your forehead is so big, your entire face is on your chin.

Your hairline is so far back, I wrote a summary about it.

I would roast BlessedBrian, but it seems LIFE already did a thorough job.