Roast jokes
Friend, you so faaaat.
Me: Boy, at least I'm not built like a Nintendo Switch.
Roses are red, colors are blue, if I was you, I'd look like you.
Your hairline is so far back, it left before your dad.
I didn't know that COVID-19 was a thing until I saw your eyebrows and your hairline social distancing.
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Friend: You look like a baboon.
Me: Stop talking, you look like a gorilla, so I might call animal control on you and I'll be seeing you at the zoo!
1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.
10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.
12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.
Yo mama so fat she broke the stairway to heaven...
I'm not saying you're ugly, but you're the reason God created miscarriages!
You look like the 0.01 percent of bacteria the Lysol didn't kill.
Your mom went to the ocean, and the whales said, "We are family," even though you are fatter than me.
Your hairline goes so far back, the dinosaurs saw it before you did.
Yo mama is so fat and old, when Jesus said "Let there be Light!" he told your mama to move out of the way!
I would roast BlessedBrian, but it seems LIFE already did a thorough job.
Your forehead is so big, your entire face is on your chin.
Your hairline is so far back, I wrote a summary about it.
Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?
Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"
Bully: You are ugly.
Me: You are so fat, you are the Call of Duty map.
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers and the middle one's for you.