Roast jokes
Yo mama sooooooo fucking fat, when she takes a step, she needs a 5-min break.
2+2+67+23= Now calculate the mass of the Solar system. Be these questions these days.
I'd rather kiss a cactus than kiss you. Wanna know why?
Because at least I'd feel something with the cactus than I ever could with you.
You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I saw a monkey yesterday, and thought it was you.
You built like you in the 1980's!
You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"
If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?
What do you call 1 normal kid and 2 retarded kids smoking weed?
Pot roast.
What's the difference between George Bush and Donald Trump?
One is into airline security, and one is into wall, turrets, and rockets.
What's the similarity between George Bush and Donald Trump?
It just doesn't work...
The Bigfoots had a campfire. One Bigfoot asked what should we roast next. The other replied, "Maybe a penis and a girl."
Your mom was born in a dumpster, as well as you.
Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.
My friend: You're ugly.
The orphanage: That's what I said to all my children.
Your mom's so poor, she chased the garbage truck with her grocery list.
Life is too short, just like me. Get roasted, short people!
Yo mama so fat, she's bigger than the universe itself!
Me: Do you know a funny joke?
Friend: Yes, you.
You signed up for football, but you're no good.
Yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin!