Roast jokes

You're so ugly, your mother thought about setting you up for adoption.

Imagine getting rickrolled. Oh, I forgot, you already got rickrolled yesterday.

James, sike, I lied, your mommy is pancakes, is so dry.

My best friend: Joey, sike, I lied, your Twitch is dry.

My other friends: the winner is................. my guy James!

What did the boy say to the girl? "Damn! You pissy, stank!"

What's the difference between George Bush and Donald Trump?

One is into airline security, and one is into wall, turrets, and rockets.

What's the similarity between George Bush and Donald Trump?

It just doesn't work...

Your fay.

Well, you're the thing that sunk the Titanic.

My brother said, "Bruh, why you so ugly plus why do you stink?" Me: "Is that supposed to be a roast? I got one for you. Why do you look like you came out the wrong side of your mother? Instead of her stomach, you came out of her butt. That's why you were born with brown spots on your head. That's her poop, you stupid fuckface." My friends: "Ouch that's gotta hurt."

Me: Do you know a funny joke?

Friend: Yes, you.

George, when I saw your face, I had to shoot you with a Nerf gun. If you died, wimp.

I do not understand why people aren't scared of spiders. I mean, like they have 87447924872320984623879480327678987388025873289576348097923408370983728 legs and 23864867759578590893839420387424763478923748394783294327428748243264278 eyes.

I saw a spider in my room. YOU THINK I'M GONNA SLEEP IN THERE?????????

Nope. I'm moving to Japan.

KONNICHIWA

If you tell me to get a life, you're telling me to get a life better than yours!

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

It's easy to roast beef.

I was camping with my buddy, and there was a fire. We were roasting marshmallows, and there was a vine. I tripped on it and went penis first into the fire, and I said, "Well, there goes your children, stupid ass!"

Where was your mom last night? In the man club?

Your mom is so ugly, you look like her. Oh, got 'em!

Yo mama so fat that when Thanos tried to snap her out of the world, he couldn't do it, so instead, he clapped her out of the world.

You are so small that you play hockey against the curb!

What did the marshmallow say when he was roasting in the fire? "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"

I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!

Do not sort... that's bad... *sigh in depression*