Roast jokes

If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.

Are you a fire alarm because you're loud and annoying?

If you're in a roast battle with a homophobe and they are talking mad shit, just say:

"The only thing looser than your mouth is your asshole!"

Roll your eyes back, you might find a brain back there.

Have you ever heard of a dream that that that that the universe was a fake machine?

You're so ugly your mirror shattered.

Your face makes onions cry.

Your mama is so fat, when I think of her in my head, she just broke my neck.

When I saw your face, it instantly made me throw up.

My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)

What goes oOoOo on your breath that scared away the animals from the farm?

Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe.

Me: You should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste.

"You must be why they invented the word ugly."

I would like to call you as dumb as a rock, but they can hold a door open.

Your mum is so fat she sat on Walmart and lowered the prices.

Life is too short, just like me. Get roasted, short people!

To All The Naruto Fans:

Sharingan is red, Rasengans are blue, If you dare touch my daughter, I'll Chidori you!

Your mom is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing.

You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."

I have to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.