Roast jokes
Me: Are you an alien?
Friend: No.
Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.
Roses are red, colors are blue, if I was you, I'd look like you.
This anorexic girl wanted to fight me. I told her that I would roast her, but she didn't have any meat.
My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.
Your mum is so fat that when she looks in the mirror, the mirror cracked!
I'm jealous of the people who never met you.
Bully: I can't understand you because I don't speak ugly language.
Me: And I don't speak idiot language.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought someone else was ugly, but then I saw you.
You're as tall as a giraffe.
Well, that's why you look like a baked bean!
I thought God didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face.
What did Michael Scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?
Boom! Roasted!
Maybe you should go on eBay to see if they have a life for sale.
What's Moby Dick's dad's name? Papa Boner.
I am a good role model, because you look up to me. Deez nuts!
Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.
Them: You're ugly.
Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.
The only reason communism started was because God looked at your face.
James, sike, I lied, your mommy is pancakes, is so dry.
My best friend: Joey, sike, I lied, your Twitch is dry.
My other friends: the winner is................. my guy James!
Bully: I wasn't talking to you.
Me: Then why are you listening?
You're so ugly, your mother thought about setting you up for adoption.
You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.