Road jokes
Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?
Because they have to pay for road tax.
I ran over an emo yesterday? I wanted to let him see pitch black.
I threw a lamp at an emo? I tried to lighten up his day.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer:
The man said, "He's going to rape the people on the side of the road."
Chuck Norris knows why the chicken crossed the road.
How did the fat person cross the road?
It rolled.
Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.
The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.
"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.
The driver leans over to the other priest, and they whisper between themselves.
Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."
My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.
Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road?
Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
Why did the suicidal person cross the road?
To slow down traffic!
When you're going 80 mph and hit a speed bump,
Then the speed bump starts screaming.
Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. 😆
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.
One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."
The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because these jokes are not funny.
Here's why the chicken crossed the road...
The chicken was on the run from a crazy-ass butcher ready to murder the poor thing, so the chicken crossed the road. The chicken was crossing the road, then a blind kid saw the chicken, and the kid was hit by a flying rock, his vision was blurred (what vision?) and was actually cured of the blind. The chicken ran and jumped into a truck's opening and was never seen again... The kid got up from the ground and looked at the road, to see the chicken was not there, and said..." The chicken crossed the road...." The kid yelled at everyone about the chicken crossing the road and got a lot of positive attention. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit were full of the chicken nonsense and gained widespread attention from N.A to Asia in only 1 day.
The butcher was arrested for the attempted murder of a joke animal and was sentenced to over 20 years in solitary confinement, and a few weeks later, the sentence was moved to a life sentence, and the butcher became known as The ChicKiller.
The End (hope you enjoyed, I was bored so I made this shit...)
Why did the Italian cross the road?
C'era un uliveto.
Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?
So no one would know what side he was on.
Why did the chicken commit suicide?
To get to the other side.
A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.
The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.
The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"
The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"
A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"
Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."
Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."
Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"
The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To become the spicy chicken burger at Chic-fil-A.