Road jokes
Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?
Me: Aren't you my son?
Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to the bitch house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Why'd the chicken cross the road?
That doesn't matter, we need to get the best joker to go back to posting here, he was funny but now people say they are him and ruin his good name, he was the top of the charts for over a year, so screw all these chumps! Bring back THE REAL SPECIAL!!!
Also, the chicken dies in the end, ha ha, funny, whatever.
Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.
Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?
Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.
Brother 2: You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: Found them.
*imaginary mother and brother fade away*
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
DOBB)BBS - DOBBS FOR OHIO
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk me home, and then get home? Then I can walk you home, and walk home.
Why did the koala cross the road?
To get to the big tree.
Why did the rapper cross the road?
To drop some BARS on the other side.
Why did the kidnapper cross the road?
To get the kids at the playground.
What’s a gay person’s favorite race track?
Rainbow Road.
What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?
"No, my cock!"
Why did the emo kid cross the road? To get a box of tissues!
Why did the chicken cross the road why? Because they wanted to kick someone in the family.
Why did the student at Blacktown Girls cross the road? To go to heaven. HAHAHA
Why did the one-eyed chicken cross the road?
To get to Birds Eye.
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over them.
This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"
You know you're fucked when the speed bump screams.
What do you call an emo who just crossed the road? Roadkill.
In India, whoever lives facing the roadside, this is for them.
Whenever it starts raining heavily, our homes turn into pool-facing homes because the roads disappear.