Road jokes

Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!

Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.

Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?

Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.

Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.

Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.

Brother 2: You monster.

Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?

Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.

Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.

Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!

Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.

Brother 1: Found them.

*imaginary mother and brother fade away*

Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.

Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.

Why did the koala cross the road?

To get to the big tree.

What time is it when you get home? Can you walk me home, and then get home? Then I can walk you home, and walk home.

Why did the fat rape victim cross the road?

To block traffic.

You know you're fucked when the speed bump screams.

What do you call an emo who just crossed the road? Roadkill.

Why did the student at Blacktown Girls cross the road? To go to heaven. HAHAHA

Why did the chicken cross the road why? Because they wanted to kick someone in the family.

Lil Nas X is so gay, I would fuck him in the Old Town Road.

Why did the emo kid cross the road? To get a box of tissues!

In India, whoever lives facing the roadside, this is for them.

Whenever it starts raining heavily, our homes turn into pool-facing homes because the roads disappear.

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

Why did I cross the road to might get hit by a car or a bus?

The bird was trying to cross the road because there was a church, but instead, the birds chirp chirp chirp, "Let's go to church!"

Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to skull.

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

To check in on his flat mate.

Why can't the T-Rex cross the road?

Because he's extinct.

Why did the egg cross the road?

'Cause he wanted to be scrambled!

Why did the one-eyed chicken cross the road?

To get to Birds Eye.

Why did the hobo cross the road?

To get the rotten donut on the other side.