Ride jokes

It cost me $100 to ride a taxi over your belly, it was that big!

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.

Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA

What's the difference between an orange?

A hippopotamus riding a four-door motorcycle.

I was riding a bike with no helmet. I went and went with no helmet until... I broke my head with no helmet on!

I replaced "Jingle Bells" with "Jiggle Balls"... "Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way! Oh what fun it is to ride on jiggly balls today!"

Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.

What is a pirate's favorite ride? A carrr!

So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.

My dad starts laughing at me.

Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”

Me: “Why dad?”

Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”

Why do orphans hate plane rides?

Because there’s no home to come back to.

Your mini pecker is so small, the taxi driver said the ride was so short that he'd do it for free.

Your forehead is so big, it's a $20 taxi ride from your hairline to your eyebrows.

Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony. He opened up a pasta shop and made some macaroni.

Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How, you ask? Ask the Twin Towers.

I was riding ya mom... LIKE SHE’S MARIO KART!

"You are stupid. You can’t even ride a baby pony!"

I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"

Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.

You are so skinny that they won't let you ride a fucking roller coaster because you flew before.

What do Ligma and Bofa have in common?

They both ride on my dick.

School was fun, but it was hard, almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.