Ride jokes
Your mini pecker is so small, the taxi driver said the ride was so short that he'd do it for free.
Your forehead is so big, it's a $20 taxi ride from your hairline to your eyebrows.
Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony. He opened up a pasta shop and made some macaroni.
Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How, you ask? Ask the Twin Towers.
I was riding ya mom... LIKE SHE’S MARIO KART!
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."
"You are stupid. You can’t even ride a baby pony!"
I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"
Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.
You are so skinny that they won't let you ride a fucking roller coaster because you flew before.
"Jump in the Cadillac, girl, let's put some miles on it."
What do Ligma and Bofa have in common?
They both ride on my dick.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?
"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"
School was fun, but it was hard, almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.
It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.
He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."
But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"
Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."
Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"
(Santa winks at you)
How do you ride two bikes at once?
You ride them in tandem!
What did the one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
Why do orphans ride the bus? Because they have no parents to drop them off.
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.
Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?
I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.