Riddles
TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?
My cousin: the other half.
What sort of file turns a one inch hole into a two inch hole?
A pedophile.
What's black, has four wheels, and sits at the top of the stairs?
Steven Hawking after a house fire.
Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝
“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”
what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?
I don't bowl.
What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...A girl scout that got hit by a car.
When is a piece of wood made king?
When it's a ruler.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
What is a tuba plus tuba? -- Fourba.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
Women.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special Forces.
What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abortion.
Q: What's stronger than family?
A: Whatever tree Paul Walker hit.
Q. What's long, hard, and scary when you first see it?
A. Calculus homework.
What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?
Ginger! You racist fuc-
Will glass coffins be a success? -- Remains to be seen.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.
What’s pink, black and has 17 nipples?
A trash can behind the cancer ward.