What's yellow and can't swim? A bus full of children
What does a cannibal call a pregnant person?
A kinder surprise
Whats starts with M and end with arriage?
Miscarriage Now we all know that joke never gets old, and you know what?
Neither does the child
what do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it. It ain't coming.
What do you call an orphan's family reunion? "Me time."
What's the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief?
The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."
What's long, black and full of seamen? A submarine
What do you take care of after a car crash? The witnesses
Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope...
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? You give him a tampon and ask what period it's from.
If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
What show does an orphan hate?
Family Guy.
* What's the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * ... * A FLATLINE!
How did the orphan become famous? They said, "Go big or go home."
What pool never runs dry? The one on the Titanic.
What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts
What is 6.9?
A beautiful thing ruined by a period
Who can shave 20 times a day and still have a beard? -- A barber.