Riddles
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it. It ain't coming.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant person?
A Kinder Surprise.
What's long, black and full of seamen? A submarine.
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope...
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? You give him a tampon and ask what period it's from.
If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have? 10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What starts with M and ends with arriage?
Miscarriage. Now we all know that joke never gets old, and you know what?
Neither does the child.
What do you call an orphan's family reunion? "Me time."
What's the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?
The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."
Why are priests called father? Because it's too suspicious to call them daddy.
Why do orphans have no parents?
Say your joke in the comments.
What do you take care of after a car crash?
The witnesses.
What do you call a person with nobody and no nose?
Q: What do you call a rich Asian? A: Dr.
poop i eat it for dinner i eat it at night yet it never comes out of me? how is that possibul?
pOOp
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it.
You see a boat filled with people, yet there isn’t a single person on board. How is that possible?
All of them are married!
You have to tell this to a friend:
There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10
Why tie when you can knot?