What do you take care of after a car crash? The witnesses

Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.

What does a cannibal call a pregnant person?

A kinder surprise

What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.

How do you embarrass an archeologist? You give him a tampon and ask what period it’s from

How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?

You cut the rope…

How did the orphan become famous ? They said “Go Big or Go Home”

What do you call a orphans family reunion?

Me time

What’s yellow and can’t swim? A bus full of children

What show does an orphan hate?

Family Guy.

What pool never runs dry? The one on the Titanic.

If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have?

10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.

• What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * …
• A FLATLINE!

What’s the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief?

The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, “Sign here please.”

What do you call a singing laptop? – A Dell.

What is the most expensive haircut? Chemotherapy

Whats starts with M and end with arriage?

Miscarriage Now we all know that joke never gets old, and you know what?

Neither does the child

What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs. What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!

What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts

Why doesn’t the Sun go to college? – Because it has a million degrees.