Retardation jokes
When the school shooter says to get on the ground, but the sped kid thinks it's Simon Says!
What did the parents name their retarded baby? Dimitri
Yo mama is so retarded, they tell her it was gonna be chilly outside, she went and got a bowl!
The first child, Daisy, asks her mother why she is named Daisy. The mother said, "That's because a daisy fell on your head when you were born."
The second child, Raindrop, asked why he is named Raindrop, and the mother said, "That's because a drop of rain fell on your head when you were born."
Then the third child, Cinderblock, said, "fxg,kxf dsdsvtg,hjer,btjh,rbtsvikvsdtxde43f."
Why did the retard cross the road?
He never made it!
What does a middle aged man live in?
A retarded kid he keeps in the van.
What do you call a person in America that is not a retard?
A foreign exchange student.
Why do INBRED RACIST WHITE TRASH SCUM live on "Welfare" and vote for Republicans?
Answer: Because they are RETARDED due to the "Inbreeding"!
You know, they didn't add the word "retard" into the dictionary for nothing.
I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant.
So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!
Died and came back sped. I call that rien-tardation.
What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?
A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).
What do you call a retard with AK special forces?
What do you call a retard that got hit by a car? Mashed potatoes.
Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.
What do you call a bunch of retarded preschoolers? Tater tots.
What is the difference between me and a retard?
At least I have chromosomes.
What's the difference between a retard and a normal person?
A normal person is not named Josh Wakling.
My mom said you failed school. I said, "Don't be surprised, I'm a retard, Mom."
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money, and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money.
Bartender says you gotta do 3 tasks. He takes the shot of Jack, and the customer says, "What are the tasks?" He says, "The 1st one is, well the 1st 1 is, I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth, and you gotta pull it." He says, "All right, what's the 2nd 1?" He said, "I got a big old girl upstairs that ain't had no loving in a long time, you gotta make her smile." He takes another shot of Jack. He said, "All right, what's the 3rd 1?" He said, "You see that horse outside, you gotta make him laugh and cry."
Guy goes upstairs, goes out back, comes out to the front, comes back in. The other customer said, "Give him the jar." The guy says, "I took care of that lady's tooth, and I made that alligator smile."
"Well how'd you make the horse laugh?" he said. "Easy, I told him I had a bigger deck then him."
Bartender says, "How did you make him cry?" He said, "Easy, I showed him."