Retardation jokes

1. Full name: John.

2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run.

3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream.

4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated.

5. Mental health: mentally retarded.

6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit.

7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named Redwing and the lizard named Notail.

8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock.

9. Working motivation: none.

I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John.

A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.

What did the Asian people name their retarded son?

Sum Ting Wong.

Why do they act so emo?

Because they are all retards.

What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?

Sum Ting Wong.

Whoever invented religions, they fucked up.

We got all kinds of retarded adults believing in mythologies.

Humans. We are the joke. Retards.

Are you with Alex?

Fucking retarded. Go dig a home die, people!

What did the retard say when the water too deep?

"Deep deep."

FREE MY ÑIGGA EDP HE INNOCENT ONCE UPON A TIME I WENT OVER TO HIS HOUSE AND HE FARTED SO GAHDAMN MUCH INTO MY MOUTH THAT I STARTED DROOLING A HERSHEY WATERFALL THIS ÑIGGA IS SO SEXY AND I LOVE WHEN HE SITS HIS FAT ASS ON TOP OF ME TYSON U JUST JEALOUS YOU AIN’T GOT NO ONE LIKE BRYANT U RETARDED LOOKING ASS BITCH I DARE YOU TO GET A PARTNER AS LOYAL AND INNOCENT AS EDP FREE MY ÑIGGA BIG HOMIE CHEESE HEAD 474747 HE INNOCENT.

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."

What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie? Nothing much, they both dribble, moan, are hungry, walk weirdly, and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down.

I wish I was rich and not poor and retarded.

Why did Texas freeze to death? Because they're retarded.

How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb? None! They are still too busy trying to turn off the dark.

Click...uh Click..........,.UH!!

Confucius say, never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid: you’ll lose every time and only hurt yourself.

(mono gloid? mong a’ loid squeals)

Did you hear the one about the dog raised by retards?

All he’d do is go “Uh-f, uh-f....Ooohhhh!”

Me: I'm retarded.

Teacher: Why?

Me: It took me 2 hours to see "60 Minutes."

How did the retard get hurt raking the leaves?

Fell out of the tree.

What do you call a retard with a boner? A slowpoke.

You're so retarded, if there was a clone of you that was supposed to be smart, it would still be retarded.

Alya is so retarded.