Retail jokes
I thought today was going to be a good day when I woke up this morning. But then I got to the store and they said they were out of rope.
A depressed guy walks into a utensil store and finds a knife, but he didn't stab himself... Part 2 coming out tomorrow.
Orphans would be upset if they went to FamilyMart.
'Cause they sell oden, not a family.
Grocery stores are like IKEA: you have to assemble the food yourself.
What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper?
We’re wiped out!
Do you know where priests go at night?
To all night sale at Boys R Us.
Next time at Walmart, I'm going to scan my wrist. They are basically barcodes.
Me: The man sleeped in a $200 bed in His hole life so why dose he need a $2,000 coffin?
My friend: They're cheaper at Costco.
Me: Oh shit, you're going to have "fun" this weekend.
If I went to Walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.
Me: tries to scan self at Walmart. I can't scan myself, wanna know why?
Alfred: Why?
Me: because I'm worthless... =)
Your mom's so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices!
When do you go to the store?
UVUALA!!!!!
I'm starting a clown shoe store.
It's no small feat! :oD
Where do walls shop?--Walmart.
Why are orphans not allowed in stores?
Because else they would actually feel at home.
I feel bad for shopping carts. They're always being pushed around.
Where do orphans shop? Home Depot.
ASDA.
Is Stephen Hawking under warranty? If so, can I bring him back to Currys PC World?
9 people walked into Bunnings Warehouse.
2 people bought plants.
3 people bought shovels.
1 person yelled.
3 people left Bunnings Warehouse.
1 person was me. I guess those three people are fired! 💁♀️🤦♀️