Retail jokes

What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper?

We’re wiped out!

Do you know where priests go at night?

To all night sale at Boys R Us.

Next time at Walmart, I'm going to scan my wrist. They are basically barcodes.

Me: The man sleeped in a $200 bed in His hole life so why dose he need a $2,000 coffin?

My friend: They're cheaper at Costco.

Me: Oh shit, you're going to have "fun" this weekend.

If I went to Walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.

Me: tries to scan self at Walmart. I can't scan myself, wanna know why?

Alfred: Why?

Me: because I'm worthless... =)

Your mom's so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices!

When do you go to the store?

UVUALA!!!!!

I'm starting a clown shoe store.

It's no small feat! :oD

Where do walls shop?--Walmart.

Why are orphans not allowed in stores?

Because else they would actually feel at home.

I feel bad for shopping carts. They're always being pushed around.

Where do orphans shop? Home Depot.

ASDA.

Is Stephen Hawking under warranty? If so, can I bring him back to Currys PC World?

9 people walked into Bunnings Warehouse.

2 people bought plants.

3 people bought shovels.

1 person yelled.

3 people left Bunnings Warehouse.

1 person was me. I guess those three people are fired! 💁‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Where does Captain Hook buy his hook?

At a second-hand store.

I first saw her in the Walmart picking out your drawers.

When you're walking through the garden section at Walmart and you hear your grandpa screaming, "They're in the fucking trees!"

This Fairy Tail shirt is only $9.99! Guess you can say that's a fair retail.