π³ π³ π³ what can a physically handicapped βΏ π¬ π¨ π¨ gay man can do better than a physically handicapped βΏ bisexual man π¨ π© π¨ π€ when his π mouth is wide open π when his head is sticking out under the stall inside the men's πΉ restroom π» at a rest π΄ area π΄ suck the chrome of a tall pipe π
roses are red, unlike the rest, I'm the one who has your IP address.
My thighs have a different texture pack than the rest of me.
Fun fact! You can hold your breath till the rest of your life.
Tell a woman sheβs beautiful a hundred times, and she wonβt believe you.
Tell a woman sheβs fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life.
Q: Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?
A: Because it was too tired!! π΄π΄π΄
I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.
A guy was on trial for murder, and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.
After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done, and paid him the $10,000.
The redneck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and wanted to let him go.
Why did the dog πΆ wake up tired?
It had a ruff night. π
My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car, then didn't talk to her for the rest of the day for no reason.
What time is it when you walk into a wall? Time to get to bed!
Why did a minister who is a Christian nationalist and a bisexual man give anonymous blowjobs to physically handicapped gay men under the handicapped stalls inside the men's restrooms at a rest area?
He wanted to eat footlong hotdogs for lunch at the rest area, but he wanted a sample first (taster).
Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.
An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. "You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you?" The Cuban simply says, "See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap."
The other passengers are reassured and respond with, "Oh, OK."
The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. "You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you?" The Russian simply states, "See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap." Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, "Ah, yes! Of course."
The American scratches his head and goes, "I think I see the pattern here." So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window!
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued; your blood was delectable, and so was the rest of you.
I think itβs dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.
I just heard that the inventor of the autocorrect died the other day.
May he rest in pizza.
