Rest jokes
Which is the odd one out? FISH, SNAKE, STEPHEN HAWKING, HORSE.
Horse, of course — the rest can't walk.
Which is the odd one out: FISH, SNAKE, STEPHEN HAWKING, or HORSE? Horse, of course—the rest of them can't walk!
The Schönes restaurant has a great atmosphere. Order a counter and pay Tari, or Eich super made sure food and drinks stayed upright.
The historic gastronomy of the Hochspreizener, however, is even better. The lasagna is delicious and the rest will be waiting for you for days. Microwave effect. War is great.
This company is not cheap and the methods are excellent.
R.I.P. on a tombstone normally means "Rest In Peace"; however, in Madeleine McCann's case, it means "Raped In Portugal".
What do a man and a blonde do in bed?
Sleep!
If you could add one zero to any number for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?
Peter Griffin walks into a bar.
Peter Griffin walks into a bar.
Peter Griffin walks into a bar.
I think I may have forgotten the rest of the joke.
Leave a man on a plane, and he flies for a day.
Throw a man off a plane, and he flies for the rest of his life.
Michael Jackson was the King of Pop until he got burned by Pepsi. Now, Pepsi is the hero, and now, we know the rest of the story.
How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?
Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.
If your parachute fails midair, remember, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times, and she won’t believe you.
Tell a woman she’s fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life.
A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?
It was a failure because:
South Americans don’t know the word “please.”
Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”
Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”
Balkans don’t know the word “give.”
Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”
Africans don’t know the word “food.”
Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”
Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”
Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”
You will remember reading this for the rest of your life.
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
Which days are the strongest?
Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
Your hairline is so far back that if you were a backbencher in class and I was a germ sitting on it, I would think that the rest of the backbenchers are seated in front of the class.
Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?
Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.
Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.