Rest jokes

You and Jason in your bed.

I'm back and wearing dead whites who are killing whites from Eastern Europe on me. Shout out my boy russia and Ukraine, they all are evil just like USA and China and the rest of the west!

What did the explorer say when he got tired?

I'm gonna take a map.

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.

What's the laziest mountain?

Mount Ever-rest.

I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.

If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?

None, the rest fly away.

What time is it when you walk into a wall? Time to get to bed!

Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.

The undertaker's famous saying is "Rest In Peace" to all of his opponents, but really they don't rest in peace. The only peace they get is from God.

Leave a man on a plane, and he flies for a day.

Throw a man off a plane, and he flies for the rest of his life.

roses are red, unlike the rest, I'm the one who has your IP address.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a while. But set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Me: Mom, I'm tired.

Mom: "Then go to sleep."

Me: No, you don't understand-

So, a kid walks in the house and says, "Mommy, Mommy, I found daddy!" And the mother says, "Stop digging around in the garden, and let your father rest in peace."

I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!