Response jokes
When someone says don't talk back to me, say, "I wasn't aware that answering a question was considered talking back."
My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.
What did the cow say?
Moo!
It took Jesus 3 days to respond.
Worst lag ever!
Comebacks when someone say: Bully: "Your teeth is so yellow that when you start smiling you slow down the traffic." Say: "At least its brighter than your future."
If you tell me to get a life, you're telling me to get a life better than yours!
Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.
Mom, can I please go out and play?
... no answer.
My dad told me that his dreams were shattered a few years ago.
Then I asked him how many years ago.
He replied with, "When were you born?"
If I called you gay, you would probably hit me with your purse.
My brother called me short and ugly, so I called him an ambulance.
When someone says: "You're a mistake."
Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."
My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.
Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”
What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?
Freeze.
When the guy asks the girl if she's wet, she replies, "Yeah, milky knickers!"
Why do 911 jokes always fail?
They always crash and burn!
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.
Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.
Have you ever said no? Did they keep going?
🗣: "Stop making suicide jokes!"
"Don't worry bro, I'll end it soon."
Man: Can you be my girlfriend?
Woman: I'm lesbian, sorry.
Man: Oh, here's your rope.