Response jokes

"You have to do this," and my sister said, "Well, I don't care."

And I said, "Well, you care enough to respond back, oh my gosh!"

Everybody asks, "What's up?" but nobody asks, "What's down?"

BF: Babe, I have two questions.

GF: Ok, ask!

BF: Where have you been all my life?

GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?

BF: Can you please go back there?

Why are elephants 🐘 so responsible?

Because they keep their belongings in the trunk.

Me: Knock knock.

Person: Who's there?

Me: No-one.

Person: No-one who?

Me:...........

Hey guys, it's Hailey here.

I'ma start off with henlo ;-;

I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.

So, Jake, we can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.

Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.

I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.

Also, you won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;

If someone calls you, just say:

"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"

Everyone: What does NASA mean?

NASA's response: National Aeronautics and Space Administration.

Everyone: What does NASA mean?

Arinator's response: National Ariana and Space Ariana.

What is the difference between tuna, a piano, and glue? You can tuna a piano, but you cannot piano a tuna.

(The person you ask should say what about the glue.) Response: I knew you would get stuck there.

Little boy asked his dad why he was born black.

Father replied, "So the heat from the sun doesn't burn your skin."

Then he asks, "Why is our hair all frizzy like fuse wire?"

"So the coconuts when falling from the trees won't hurt you."

"Then what are we doing living in Rochdale? (England)"

What did the cops say when someone called him racist?

"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Mail man.

Mailman who?

Bitch, do you want your mail?

Sorry but, no one asked.

I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."

My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Europe.

Europe who?

No, I'm not.

FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.

What do the initials FEMA stand for?

Federal Erection Management Agency.

My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.

What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?

Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.