Religion jokes
Jesus is a rock music fan.
Because he likes Nine Inch Nails.
What to gift a child molester who already has everything? A bigger county with more believers.
When someone says, "Jesus," I say, "Bitch, where?"
Adam and Eve had sex. It was paradise.
What's white and black and red all over? A nun that fell down stairs.
What’s my favorite Islamic Holiday... 9/11.
What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?
You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.
My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.
What happens when an angel and nun "have some fun and forget pills"?
The nun gets pregNUNt.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, he got nailed before he died!
Why do Indian men marry fat women?
Because they worship cows.
Why don't churches have WiFi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Which company likes Jesus the most?
IHS Markit!
You should know it's important to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.
Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.
If I teach man he is the fish I caught, will I no longer be a fisher of men?
Jesus saved me from eternal fate, but I didn't want to get saved. I was about to fight Satan on Final Destination before facing and kicking God's ass.
Remember, the confession booth is not a glory hole.
God = what I hope to be.
Devil = what I can't accept.
I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.
Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are only 5 years old, yet you know how to give great head.