Religion

Religion jokes

Baptism

You should know it's important to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.

Girl

Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are only 5 years old, yet you know how to give great head.

God

What did one God say to the other?

"I will die to be a man."

Fisher

If I teach man he is the fish I caught, will I no longer be a fisher of men?

Memes

Jesus

Jesus saved me from eternal fate, but I didn't want to get saved. I was about to fight Satan on Final Destination before facing and kicking God's ass.

Angel

Here’s my hand, please hold it. That way I can say I was touched by an angel.

Saturn

Why does Saturn have a ring?

Because God liked it, so he put a ring on it.

WiFi

Why don't churches have WiFi?

They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.

Caricature

What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?

"We need to circumcise that one."

Pub

Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.

You can't drink alcohol or dance.

Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.

Jesus

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture, unfortunately.

Priest

Why can't you make jokes about catholic priests?

Because they blow up in your face.

Orphan

Why do orphans like to go to church?

So they have someone to call father.

If you're bored, punch an orphan in the face. What is he gonna do, tell his parents?

Jesus

Q: Why can’t Jesus make fun of gay people?

A: He got nailed first.