Why does Saturn have a ring?
Because God liked it, so he put a ring on it.
Religion Jokes
Why don't churches have WiFi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
What is an angel's favorite kind of tortilla chip dip?
GuacaHOLY!
Which company likes Jesus the most?
IHS Markit!
Did you hear about that Muslim party?
It was a blast!
What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?
"We need to circumcise that one."
Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.
You can't drink alcohol or dance.
Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.
House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture, unfortunately.
Why can't you make jokes about catholic priests?
Because they blow up in your face.
Why do orphans like to go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
If you're bored, punch an orphan in the face. What is he gonna do, tell his parents?
Q: Why can’t Jesus make fun of gay people?
A: He got nailed first.
What do you call a space Muslim?
A Tusken Raider.
"And the Lord said unto John, 'Come forth and receive eternal life,' but John came fifth and got a toaster."
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, Father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation, and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, Father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired!"
-not my joke
What's the slogan for a Muslim gym?
Might in dynamite.
A gay couple walks into a Muslim bar. The tender flares up and says, “let me guess, a little blood on the rocks?”
The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.
One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”
“No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”
“Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish.”
Why do Indian men marry fat women?
Because they worship cows.
Imagine if you were an Arabic person shopping at Walmart with your son.
Now imagine he got lost and you had to start calling out his name.
...Now imagine his name is "Allahu Akbar."
