So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
Religion Jokes
What's a little white dot on a priest's dick? A baby tooth.
A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.
My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot Pakistan has ever seen, Allahu Akbar!
Why can't Heaven and Hell ever be one 2nd paradise?
Heaven always has 5-star reviews.
You call him the holy cross. I call it the rejected Smash character.
Devil: Hey angel.
Angel: Hi devil, why are you nice?
Devil: What do angels add to their food to make it a little more spicy?
Angel: What?
Devil: Angelpinos!
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
What is Jesus’s Favorite Exercise?
CrossFit.
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both shove their meat into 10-year-old buns.
Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.
There never was a historical Jesus Christ. Hey, do not even dream of crucifying me.
Q: What do Moses and hookers have in common?
A: They've dealt with a burning bush.
Has anyone alive ever died?
Is this our eternal life?
I pray to a dead human I hope to be reunited with.
Jesus, that's sick.
God = what I hope to be.
Devil = what I can't accept.
I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.
You should know it's important to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.
Remember, the confession booth is not a glory hole.
Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are only 5 years old, yet you know how to give great head.
What did one God say to the other?
"I will die to be a man."
