Religion jokes
We have life. I hope we have life. We have God in Jesus Christ. This is a good thing. It is a song part.
Now I know what my priest meant by the second coming!
Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."
What is another word for Arab man who is a Palestinian Muslim?
Palestinian masseur.
What's a reversed exorcism?
It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.
Jesus saved me from eternal fate, but I didn't want to get saved. I was about to fight Satan on Final Destination before facing and kicking God's ass.
What's the difference between a priest and SpongeBob?
SpongeBob asks if you're ready first.
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
I'm still wondering who took Jesus' sandals.
Even the one who ate that dove that sat at Jesus' shoulder. 🤔
What did the 3-year-old boy say to the priest?
"My bum hurts."
What do a politician and a minister have in common?
Both of them will tell you anything to get money from you.
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the church.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The Priest... Let's go to my office, because I'm totally not a pedophile.
And the Lord said onto John, "Come forth to receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Nun's worst holiday? Norfolk.
Nun's best holiday? Bangkok.
Why did half the world go to hell? Because they were laughing at morbid jokes.
YOU'VE BEEN WARNED (again)!
Why did Michael Jackson like having little boys round him? He was studying for the priesthood.
If a priest listens to sad music in his church, he really enjoys being deep in minor.
What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? One cuts them off and one sucks them off.
What do you call a priest who became a singer?
Michael Jackson.