Religion jokes
I thank God that I'm not as ugly as you.
Confucius say, "Man who sit in church and fart must sit in pew."
When the orphan got a job as a priest, what was his name?
Father Les.
Why did half the world go to hell? Because they were laughing at morbid jokes.
YOU'VE BEEN WARNED (again)!
A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it, and she replied, "It's a bad habit."
Why did Spencer eat cheese?
Because he was Jewish.
People in 1 Ad: I bet we will have the best technology ever in 2023.
2023: GO BACK NOW! THERE'S 50 THOUSAND GENDERS, DUMB GEN Z, TIK TOK, WE NEED JESUS!
Why did God create women with pussies?
Because:
1. Of course, God is a man.
2. Of course, he isn't gay.
3. Of course, he is a perv too (for wanting more pussies)!
What’s the difference between a Black man and a Jew?
One was born burnt.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Jesus.
Jesus who?
Jesus Christ, open the door!
God's consciousness: Art.
God's unconsciousness: Christianity.
Why do Roman Catholics always call their minister father?
because Roman Catholic men between 18-29 years old received a free anonymous blowjob inside the confessional booth at the glory hole.
Me playing a game........ What, did God just stop our hearts because he didn't kill everybody?
Father O'Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. "Ah, Mary Agnes, congratulations!"
She gave him a puzzled look. "On what?"
"Your mother tells me you've been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it's a miracle."
Mary Agnes sighed. "My mother needs to get hearing aids if she's going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it'll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I'm fucking is a St. Bernard."
What's black, white, and red?
A nun that fell down an elevator shaft.
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
Conversation between a little baby and a lady👇
👱LADY: Hi. 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: What is your name? 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: How old are you? 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: What is your mom's name? 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: What about your dad? 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: Can you spell your name? 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: Can you spell GOD? 💂LIT.BABY: (spelling) G.O.D
If a little baby can spell GOD, what about you? Just spend some minutes and type "GOD" if [you] know [that you] will sleep and wake up tomorrow by GOD's grace, ignore if you are living by power. MINE: GOD 😃
What's white and black and red all over? A nun that fell down stairs.
Why was Jesus Christ cut from the hockey team?
He kept getting nailed to the boards.
"'There is no God.' - Stephen Hawking (2011)
'There is no Stephen Hawking.' - God (2018)"