Religion jokes
"A llahu Aks into a bar..."
And it blows up!
For centuries the Catholic Church censored everything that wouldn‘t fit with their teachings. You know what I call that?
"Chancel culture!"
God created everyone unique till he got to Asia, then it just went to copy paste, copy paste.
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
Memes
Did Mary Have a Little Lamb?
What do you call an orphan that grows to be a priest?
Fatherless.
Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?
What?
A nail gun!
Who's better, Hitler or Jesus?
Hitler: Jesus made bread for 1000 whereas Hitler made meat for 10,000. 😅😅😅😅 (no offense)
(To circumcised people)
Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.
Religion crashes them.
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.
Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.
When God gives you glory, you give it back.
A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture frame?
It only took one nail to hang the picture frame.
What did Jesus say when they removed the nails from his hands?
"Feet! Feet!"
The only difference between you and Jesus is that Jesus believed in himself.
How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.
What do Jesus and a painting have in common?
They hang by nails.
Why is a priest different from acne?
Acne waits to come on your face.
How did Jesus become self-sovereign?
He screws himself and becomes his own creator.
Jesus will be history when I realize he's behind me.