Religion jokes
People in 1 Ad: I bet we will have the best technology ever in 2023.
2023: GO BACK NOW! THERE'S 50 THOUSAND GENDERS, DUMB GEN Z, TIK TOK, WE NEED JESUS!
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Fuck her hahaha š¤£
Mama is so Catholic, Swiss cheese wishes it was as holy as she is. Do you...
Why do I look nervous when I enter the church? Is it just because I'm the only one with the bomb?
Who would win?
The laws of the Catholic Church which have been effective for over 900 years,
Or one horny Henry?
Memes
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture.
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
What do you call a Muslim with Touretteās? A ticcing time bomb.
Me: You know what's the favorite slogan that Hindus like the most?
My friend: What?
Me: ākati supari kata paan katiyo ko bhejo pakistan.ā
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."
Gwen is a liar. She said she is a Christian and then is saying bad, bad, bad, bad words. Shame on you, Gwen, LIAR!
You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?
I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.
What did the cop say to the muslim breaking the law?
"That's against th-Allah (read like da-law)."
My friend: What are you doing?
Me: I'm making holy water.
My friend: How?
Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.
Why do orphans go to church?
They go there to finally call someone "father."
This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.
(Do you get the joke?)
(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)
A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress up as the altar boy.
Jesus tried solving the Rubik's cube,
but died on the cross.
A Catholic gay male that is well-endowed goes to confession, and while he is inside the confessional booth, the Catholic priest is sucking his dick, and he says to the Catholic priest, "What are you doing, Father?"
And the priest says, "It's called giving a blowjob."
And the Catholic gay male says, "Why are you giving me a blowjob, Father, inside the confessional booth?"
And the Catholic priest says, "If there was no glory hole in the confessional booth, my son, it would not be called a confessional booth in the first place."