Religion jokes
Why do nuns walk in groups?
So one “nun” can keep an eye on the other “nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting "nun".
[god creating alligators]
God: See that log?
Angel: Yes...?
God: Now fill it with teeth.
Angel: Say again?
God: FILL IT WITH TEETH!
And the Lord said onto John, "Come forth to receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
What goes black, white, black, white, down a hill?
A fat nun.
What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us...
Why did a minister who is a Christian nationalist and a bisexual man give anonymous blowjobs to physically handicapped gay men under the handicapped stalls inside the men's restrooms at a rest area?
He wanted to eat footlong hotdogs for lunch at the rest area, but he wanted a sample first (taster).
Bin Laden promised 76 virgins to Al-Qaeda.
Instead, there was one 76-year-old virgin.
Crucifixion was the first T-pose.
Why did the orphan go to church?
To hear some "foster" parenting advice.
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."
What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.
Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."
What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?
Catholics are registered sex offenders.
Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent?
Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
Why would a protestant refuse to become a catholic?
Because a protestant is not a homosexual sodomite.
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.
Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."