Religion jokes
What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us...
What goes black, white, black, white, down a hill?
A fat nun.
Why did a minister who is a Christian nationalist and a bisexual man give anonymous blowjobs to physically handicapped gay men under the handicapped stalls inside the men's restrooms at a rest area?
He wanted to eat footlong hotdogs for lunch at the rest area, but he wanted a sample first (taster).
Bin Laden promised 76 virgins to Al-Qaeda.
Instead, there was one 76-year-old virgin.
Crucifixion was the first T-pose.
6 year old me in bible study trying to figure out where the dinosaurs were
Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."
I don't get it.
Orphans are very religious, well mostly. Statistics say that roughly 2/3 of the orphan population go to church. I mean it's the only place they can call someone "father".
If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?
Why did the orphan go to church?
It was because he was looking for someone to call "Father."
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
Why did the orphan go to church?
To hear some "foster" parenting advice.
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."
What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.
Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.
Why would a protestant refuse to become a catholic?
Because a protestant is not a homosexual sodomite.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?
Catholics are registered sex offenders.
Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent?
Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent.
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.