Religion jokes
I don't have a joke about Christianity.
I don't want to get crucified.
I love bread so much that I might join a bread cult.
Ever looked at a cemetery and thought, wow, Heaven and Hell must be crowded?
What do you call a Muslim who drinks, smokes, and fools around with other women?
Turkish.
When they said sin was ugly to look at, I didn't know God would use you as an example.
Did Jesus die a virgin? No, he got nailed before he died.
The second coming came and went. Jesus believed he was a Christian; therefore, he could never be himself.
Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.
How did Mary get pregnant with baby Jesus?
God fucked her.
My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.
Why did Saturn have rings?
Because God liked it so he put a ring on it.
Heyo, my children, hope you haven't forgotten about our cult!
Why did Steven Hawking go to hell, not heaven?
Because there is a stairway to heaven, but there is not one to hell.
What kind of containers does the Pope keep his vegetables in?
Vat-I-cans!
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a beer.
Same person.
You are so ugly, when the devil saw you, he said, "Jesus Christ!"
If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?
I think God is cool with abortion.
After all, he did kill his only son.
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.
A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.