Crucifixion was the first T-pose.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A nun that fell down the stairs.
What's black, white, and laughing?
The nun that pushed her.
Are you Jesus? Because I want to nail you.
Yo mama is so fat and old, when Jesus said "Let there be Light!" he told your mama to move out of the way!
What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us...
A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it, and she replied, "It's a bad habit."
Jesus and his friend went fishing. They both cast their lines out, and both of them get a bite, but Jesus's friend misses and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's a bad sentence to say; if you say it 3 times, something bad will happen to you." They cast it out again, and both get a bite, and Jesus's friend misses again and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus replied, "If you say that one more time, something bad will happen." They cast out again, and Jesus's friend's line snaps, and he says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's the last time something bad will happen." The biggest thunderstorm ever seen appeared, and a lightning bolt struck Jesus, and a voice came from the clouds, "Damn, I missed."
Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?
Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.
Man, my Muslim friend's the bomb!
What place has more boys than the Catholic Church? Michael Jackson's bedroom.
Why do nuns walk in groups?
So one “nun” can keep an eye on the other “nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting "nun".
How does a Muslim close a door? He islams it.
Why did a minister who is a Christian nationalist and a bisexual man give anonymous blowjobs to physically handicapped gay men under the handicapped stalls inside the men's restrooms at a rest area?
He wanted to eat footlong hotdogs for lunch at the rest area, but he wanted a sample first (taster).
What goes black, white, black, white, down a hill?
A fat nun.
I don't get it.
Orphans are very religious, well mostly. Statistics say that roughly 2/3 of the orphan population go to church. I mean it's the only place they can call someone "father".
What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
Why did the orphan go to church?
To hear some "foster" parenting advice.
Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent?
Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent.
What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?
Catholics are registered sex offenders.
