Religion jokes
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
I don't have a joke about Christianity.
I don't want to get crucified.
What's the difference between a zit and a Catholic priest?
A zit will wait 'til 12 before it cums on your face.
I opened a company selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"
A Muslim enters a building...
Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.
What do you call the day before Christmas Eve? Christmas Adam.
Who betrayed Cheesus Christ?
Goudas.
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne doesn't cum on a kid's face 'til they're 13 or 14.
God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.
And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
When someone has an imaginary friend, you call them weird and crazy.
But when a group of people have an imaginary friend, you call it religion. :)
What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?
A Catholic priest.
Electricity.
What's the difference between Jesus and the baby I have in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
What kind of jeans do you wear to church?
Holy jeans!
Jesus Christ said my faith can move mountains, so Mohammed said my faith can move skyscrapers.
Why did Spencer eat cheese?
Because he was Jewish.
How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.
When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.