What did Adam say when he saw Eve?
Answer: "Woman!"
Religion Jokes
God sent gays to fix overpopulation. Until they ended same-sex marriage.
A man walks up to a priest. The man says, "I am Jesus Christ." The priest says, "No, you are not my son." The man says, "Follow me." The man walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Jesus Christ, you're back!"
Jesus created the T-pose first.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A nun that fell down the stairs.
What's black, white, and laughing?
The nun that pushed her.
Crucifixion was the first T-pose.
It took Jesus 3 days to respond.
Worst lag ever!
A man was kneeling on the church floor, crying desperately in front of the large wooden statue of Christ.
"My headphones are broken, Lord... I'm desperate... What should I do? Guide me!"
And the Lord appeared in the form of bright light, and the strong, deep voice filled the man's soul.
"WELL BUY NEW ONES, YOU DUMBASS!"
And so he did.
They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:
Thou shalt not f... altar boys.
What did the angel say when it went to heaven? Well, halo there!
A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...
Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”
What do you call a cross between a priest and a child?
The cross shoved up the priest’s ass as he ‘downward dogs’ the kid.
Do you need an ark?
Because I Noah guy!
The Virgin Mary wasn't a virgin; she was a prostitute. God raped her.
A man decides one day that it is time to buy a pet. He goes to the pet store, looks around and sees a beautiful parrot, sitting quietly on a stick in his cage. Yet the beast has no feet or paws. "What is the matter with you?" the man thinks aloud.
"Well, that's how I was born, I'm actually a faulty parrot," says the bird.
"Haha," the man laughs, "it seems like that parrot understands what I'm saying and even answers!"
"I understand everything you say, I am extremely intelligent and very well educated," says the bird.
"Well, if you're so smart then tell me how you can stay on your stick without legs."
"Well," says the parrot, "it's a bit embarrassing, but okay, I wrap my little parrot penis around the stick, like a hook, but I hide that with my thick feathers."
"Wow, you really understand everything I say, don't you?"
"Yes, yes," replies the bird, "and I speak Spanish and English fluently, I can speak on a level about almost everything, politics, religion, sport, and philosophy, and I specialize in bird science, you should buy me, I am also a very good friend for you."
The man looks at the price tag, 200 euros is on it. "Sorry, I cannot afford that."
"Psst," whispers the parrot as he beckons the man with his wing closer. "Nobody wants me because I do not have legs, just bid 25 euros and you can take me with you."
The man offers 25 euros and walks 5 minutes later with the parrot out of the store. A few weeks pass. The parrot is sensational. He is fun and interesting, gives good advice, is sympathetic to everyone, in short; the perfect roommate and friend. One day the man comes home from work and the parrot says "Pssssssssssst" while he beckons his wing again. The man comes close to the cage. "I do not know if I should tell you this," says the parrot, "but it's about your wife and the postman."
"What!?" says the man.
"Well, the postman came to the door and your wife greeted him in a nothing disguised nightgown and kissed him flat on the mouth."
"And then," the man hisses, "What happened then?"
"Well, the postman came in, grabbed her nightgown and started caressing her everywhere."
"My God," says the now furious man, "And what else did they do?"
"Then he took off her nightgown, went through his knees and started to lick her everywhere, starting at her breasts and getting further and further down."
"And then, what happened, what else did they do?" the man screams.
"No idea," says the papgaai, "I got a boner and thundered off my stick..."
Did Jesus die virgin? Nope, he got nailed before he died.
The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”
Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope slapped him.
What did the orphans do when the bombs drop?
They said, "Allahu Akbar."
Find Jaiden.
Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke
Jaiden got lost after I looked for Jokes.
Also the Category is Jesus because Jesus got lost as well.
What's the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus's birth date.
