Relationship jokes

Why do sisters have to be in a relationship? Because you don’t have to worry about your car.

What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?

Only one moans when I put my meat in it.

Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.

I broke up with my RBLX gf, and I heard my uncle crying in the other room.

When Ariana Grande broke up with Pete, she said, "I have one less problem without you."

Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.

Wife: Aww, thanks.

Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.

I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"

Why do sisters hate you?

Because you're their favorite stepbrother :P

Are you Paris, 'cause Eiffel for you.

My ex is like AIDS! I can't get rid of him.

I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.

Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.

My sister says I’m annoying, or that’s what I read in her diary.

What does a mother fear most?

Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.

When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.

Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂

If you know it, you know it.

What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.

Wow, Gwen even said she loves TJ! She just did!

Prince, look at it. You are going to be crushed. It is in bored jokes and it has 65 comments, look there!

Sally's mother had four children. The fourth April, the second May, the third June. Who was the first child?

Sally.

My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.

If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

I like my coffee like my women.

Amateur.