My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.
Women are like towers, the man wants to bang them both.
Hey, are you suicide? 'Cause I dream of you every day! <3
Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"
Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
Why do orphans hate Dom Toretto?
Because it's all about family!
She be hubba on my bubba till I gum.
My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.
Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you! 😫
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?
I’d hit that.
Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.
My wife told me to contact more of my feminine side.
I crashed the car and fucked my trainer.
I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."
Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
What holiday can an orphan not celebrate?
Mother's Day and Father's Day.
School Rizz:
You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.
How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
It's like your hairline and your forehead had a disagreement.
What's the difference between your dad and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back.
