Relationship jokes
Why is it so hard to make friends in Antarctica?
Because you cannot break the ice.
Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?
When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”
Alabama's saying: It's not cheating if we’re all siblings.
What is the speed limit for sex? 68, because if you go any faster, you’ll have to turn around.
If your wife has boxes and boxes ending up at your front door from her online shopping habit, tell her that you’ve only had one box through the marriage and that she should be happy.
She said she wanted me to treat her like a dishwasher. So I loaded her up, ran her through a rough cycle, and left her wet and broken on the floor.
I actually want peace, not war.
That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.
The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"
He says, "No."
She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."
How do you tell whether you’ve satisfied a redhead?
She unlocks the handcuffs.
I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.
My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.
My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.
She be hubba on my bubba till I gum.
I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."
I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.
The only thing drier than these jokes is your mom.
Are you mixed? Cuz you're half fine, half mine 😏
Q: Why are lesbians bad at math?
A: Because they can't multiply.
What do you call a person with a flip flop?
My dad.
What’s the worst joke ever? Your parents’ relationship.