Relationship jokes
What do a doctor and a girlfriend/boyfriend have in common?
They both break your heart.
Doctor: Hands husband his baby.
Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.
Husband: Then give me the one she made.
I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.
Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was.
Ttt.
My ex's love for me :(
I still love the dude sadly, but I won't take him back.
My bro said food was cool. So I threw a piece of cool chicken at him. For some reason, he hit me, OOF.
An elderly man was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip.
"I will see her in one week!"
A week later, he died.
My sexlife xddddddddd
Women say men are trash.
Yet men made the phone, laptops, computer and electrical hardware she uses to say men are trash, never mind the electricity she uses to power those devices...
What's two lesbians in a tent?
A finger hut.
Ur mom, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I have no friends :'(
It’s like I always tell my kids:
"Two in the pink, one in the stink."
Boy, if you don't get your "I'm Burger King with my Burger Queen!"
Every like this gets, I will kill a telemarketer.
Every dislike, I will kill a cute puppy.
Every comment, I will kill your ex bf or gf and send you a PS5.
Why can't orphans have family time?
They don't have a family.
Why is Viagra just like Disneyland?
It's a 1 hour wait for a 5 minute ride.
So this guy we talked to wanted me to leave forever, and we said, "What? You never want to hear from me again?"
Why don't orphans call...
Because they can't call home.
Why does my brother have no mom?
My dick's so big, I stuck it in your mom's loose hole.