Relationship jokes
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!
My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"
I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"
She said, "Why?"
I said, "'Cause it's your twin."
Why do orphans have sex?
To call someone "daddy"!
Why were the apple and orange all alone? Because the banana "split."
My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.
Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:
"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."
A nickname to call your short GF:
Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok
What did a man say to his boy?
You are my son.
Dads are like boomerangs... I hope...
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."
As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.
Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.
Hate me all you want, but I gotta say, this whole thing with Gwen and TJ is ridiculous.
When a deaf person has sex, do they use one hand to moan?
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.
When your cousin dies and everybody thinks you're her.
FUCKING MENT
You're more uglier.
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
Who needs Singles Day when you're single for the rest of your life!
As an older brother, I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to do your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room. I see my sister giving married men blow jobs.
I ask what are you doing? The married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you told me to do your best, and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder.