Relationship jokes

Yo mama so stupid, she brought weed to the highway. Then she realized, "I'm not stupid, I was just high as a bitch." She just got fucked so hard by her man, she thought she was high.

I’m horny who else is *ugh ugh papi harder*.

Why did the orphan say, "Help?" He needed his brother.

My parents gave me a blowjob. It was a blowtastic time!

If her internal clock can tock, she can sit on my cock.

If her internal clock can tick, she can sit on my dick.

Me and my friends were talking. Then we started talking about our wives. I said, "So, I married a volcano for a wife. You never know when she will blow up."

Why does my cheating ex-wife wear a colostomy bag?

She lost her ass playing poker...

What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?

My dad came back!

Your mom walked into a bar and broke all the furniture.

Two brothers were arguing. One went: "You're an idiot!"

The other went: "Your brother's a mother!"

He replied: "Yeah, I know. Thanks for agreeing with me."

I'm deaf. My deaf ex-wife cheated on me with a guy who I met on a deaf social trip who was also deaf. I guess I didn't see the signs at the time.

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Your love life.

My wife said I acted like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.

What do you say to someone's mom?

"You mom gay."

Me: Hey you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong.

Trashy pig woman: Why?

Me: Because you smell like fart and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.

Me and your mom in the bed.

Jake grabbed Lina's thigh and said, "Why don't we have sex? I really wanna see your boobs. I bet they're hot." "Yeah, they are." She took her clothes off and he saw her body. "OMG GODDESS OF BOOBS, PUSSYS AND BUTT LETS HAVE SEX LOOK AT MY..." HE WOKE UP THEN CRIED AND KISSED HIS SISTER'S BUTT. SHE SMACKED HIM THEN HE TOOK HER TO HIS BASEMENT AND KILLED HER FROM SEX.

My mom is gay.

At my sample place, I handed my wife a fork and I lost my job.