Relationship jokes

I asked my zombie boyfriend, "Does he have a brain?" Because he's stupid asf.

Want to hear a joke? I swear it isn't about my life again.

My mom and dad made a joke together and called it "yeetsu" (me)!

Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.

Me: Mine DON'T :(

My dad called me as I said I shit in my sister's mouth. Impossible? Nope.

If you're ever bored, jump on Vedanta, what is he going to do, tell his parents? (He probably will.)

Y'know what's really sad?

Why break the fourth wall when you can turn the third wheel?

What is so annoying? A younger sister.

I love your mom and dad's joke! They made it together and called it your name.

Hey mylady.

Hey bro.

Me mylady.

Me a bro.

Sisters before misters.

I hope you get better.

I love you.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, How many bananas can I fit, Maybe two?

My wife and I have been married over 30 years, but don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom.

I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.

What does a homeless man call his mother?

Useless.

I love you too.

What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him?

That’s assault!

Joe Mama!

What do you say to your partner with diabetes?

Hey, sugar!

When you’re having the best sex in your life and your grandma says, “I’m not dead!”

Qualification Check:

Single

Taken

Friended ✔

I want a bigger couch.

Why? You're going to be in the kitchen most of the time anyway.