Relationship jokes

I need a lovely lady to spoil. I have a big dick and a very clean house. Add me now.

Snapchat: @colin_green21

I need a lovely lady to spoil. I have big dick. Add me.

Snapchat- any.bry05

What do you get when you cross mums and makeup?

Beauty!

EVERYONE:

"My boyfriend, Danny, broke up with me. Can some hot guy come, so I can interview them and see if they wanna date me?"

What do women and dog turds have in common?

The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

Dmitriy has no mother.

My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.

Hey Gwen, uhhhhhhh, fresfry told me to tell you I like you. Jk, I don't.

Gwen pegs Xavier.

My boyfriend's sister is mad because I smashed his girl.

When your wife takes 30 minutes to get ready.

Me: Takes five minutes.

Me: Hun, you done yet?

Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.

Women, you're a marshmallow because you're white, squashy, and everyone sticks their stick inside you.

Know why they call gonorrhea gonorrhea?

'Cause once you have it, everyone is gone.

Coworker, why is Sara so blue?

Is it because Sara wishes she had a man? coworker she always watches you with your husband together out of love. You better watch out dear, she might "saraorize" him, with her crooked teeth and ultra-thin lips.

Why are there only 362 days in an orphan's calendar? They don’t have Father's Day, Mother's Day, or Family Day.

Me: Sister, are you wearing makeup?

My sister wearing all the world's makeup.

Sister: Just a little.

I got a text from Kb. She said: "Really Gwen said that! Will fine Idc! \"Hurt\""

Thanks a lot, Gwen!

Did you know there’s a sex move called Amazon?

You wait all day and nobody comes.

Gwen, I am not gay. There is some stupid faker online! I swear on my life that I am not!

Btw, if I was gay, then why am I chatting and dating a girl?