Relationship jokes

Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*

Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?

Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.

LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.

Shrek- Should I pull the trap?

*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*

LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB

"Uwu daddy."

I took my girlfriend to the beach and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale!

Can someone be my daddy?

Why is the divorce rate among socks so high?

Yo mamma sucks!

Why did the orphan cry to the teacher? Because they have no one else.

Fall coming 🍁 grab you a hoodie & sum1's thick thigh baby mama to keep you warm 😌🍂

Guys, this is so disrespectful, I love Jesus. I go to church every Tuesday morning to give Jesus a... giffffffft.

So disrespectful guys. #jesusismyhubby

I asked my zombie boyfriend, "Does he have a brain?" Because he's stupid asf.

Well, the "HOLE" story is, I shoved it up her hole.

I love you too.

I told my wife she was lousy in bed.

She replied, "I guess you have been seeing your ex-girlfriend, uh?"

What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him?

That’s assault!

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "You're." "You're who?" "You're adopted!"

Also, not love everyone.

My wife and I have been married over 30 years, but don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom.

I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.

Your mom stinks.

That is my joke.

You mom doesn’t really stink.

I know I am stupid. 🤕

It’s funny my sister wanted to have sex with me.