Relationship jokes

Why was the chicken black and the other were white? Adoption!

I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........

Your hairline's so bad, your dad went to get the milk and never came back. Years later, he comes back and says, "Go get a hairline, boy."

What is the similarity between women and freezers?

We like to put our meat in them.

I hope death is a girl. That way, it'll never come for me.

"I want to kill my family."

-realizes-

A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."

I'd tell you a joke about my boyfriend's dick, but it's a private joke.

My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.

"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.

"Why?" I asked.

My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"

I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.

My buddy and I both wanted to marry a woman who happened to be an amputee.

Sadly, my buddy won her heart, but I got her leg.

Women, you're a marshmallow because you're white, squashy, and everyone sticks their stick inside you.

What did Mickey Mouse say to Minnie Mouse: "I don't use condoms; I use my drawbridge."

I asked a kid where their parents were...

Lol

Best chick ever.

Call me at 6969696969.

When your wife takes 30 minutes to get ready.

Me: Takes five minutes.

Me: Hun, you done yet?

How can you tell that a woman is asking for sex? Wait for her to drop a bomb on you.

When I get jokes. They aren't f****** restarted like you.

My sister.

How did the skeleton win the girl? He was humerus.

Thing to say during sex, "grab his dick and twist it!"