A guy and his girl just finished making love. Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks "Have you thought about any baby names?". The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says "Well propably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this"
A married woman asked her husband if he saw future then the husband answered her " I have no Eye dear"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
U twin towers because I'm tryna ram in u tonight
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine and he said to her ... "Hey baby, we should bang sometime."
We split because she used always say I never listen, or something like that
So as a school shooter, I try to remember my abc's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN! And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speaks to me about the rest.
when you know you have a gay friend but you find out that they like you-
I used to date this girl only to find out she’s guy. I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once
Dating 101
Heres what you do:
1. Dinner 2. Kiss 3. Movie 4. Sex 5. Bring her back home 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting
My wife is pregnant but when we get to doctors something happened..........
What happened?
A:the husband is pregnant too with someone else’s baby not the wife’s baby but the wife is pregnant with his baby.
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
I don't understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single I fight with my parents but you don't see me change my status to Orphan
Boy: will u remember me in a minute? Mom: yes Boy: will u remember me in day? Mom:yes Boy: willu remember me in a year? Mom: yes Boy: knock knock Mom: who's there Boy:bitch, u forgot me
If Kenny had a son we all know he would also be his brother
My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying "This isn't working". I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine
My girlfriend called me a bot in fortnite, so I called her sandwich maker 3000
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
If you have a GF/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say "Your short lemme add some inches"
