Relationship Jokes

Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.

What’s the difference between a job and a wife

The job keeps sucking after 5 years

My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one. She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"

I went home to my girlfriend, with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"

Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"

If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?

Husband: Dammit alice! I'm your husband and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you! Wife: Go to hell Bob! I'm Leaving! Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.

Me and my girls friend broke up so I took her wheel chair and she came crawling back

My crush said that she would rather die than have sex with me...it turns out that she was lying.

Hey guys, its Hailey here.

Ima start off with henlo ;-;

I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.

So, Jake. We can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.

Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.

I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.

Also, You won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;

So a girl says to her ex I can't get you out of my mind the boyfriend I knew you we've the girl replies I see you in everything like when I'm walking down the street even at work like trash cans are everywhere