Relationship jokes

Mom

baby girl · 4 years ago

Me: Mom, we made a cake.

Bully: Guess what?

Me: What?

Bully: Nobody cares!

Me: Yeah, nobody cares about you!

Mouthwash

Anonymous · 5 years ago

61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69... mouthwash.

Homie

-Switch Lord · 6 years ago

Homie: Let's meet.

Skrr: It's 🔥🌭

Meaning: It's hot [🔥] dawg [🌭]!

Wife

Funny python · 5 years ago

My wife is like a mirror.

I can never look at it.

Eyebrow

GlitzyGlamGirl (GGG) · 7 years ago

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked at me surprised.

(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as a helix ruler.)

Couple

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A black and white image shows two masked figures lying in bed with the text "When you're in a relationship and you're both crazy" at the top. The figure on the left wears a hockey mask, while the one on the right wears a pale, emotionless mask.

Relationship memes

Glory Hole

Anonymous · 3 years ago

Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?

Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.

Orphan

Anonymous · 4 years ago

What's the difference between an orphan and Daniel Larusso?

At least Daniel has a mom.

Masturbation

jeb · 8 years ago

What did the man's dick say to the man?

I just can't "hand"le it!

Fat

Felicia · 4 years ago

Your so fat, my sister said. I said, "So at least I ain't fatter than your momma."

Gay

Anonymous · 9 years ago

"What does the word 'gay' mean?" asked a son of his father.

"It means 'happy'," replied the father.

"Oh," contested the son, "so you are gay then?"

"No, son, I have a wife."

Uncle

Anonymous · 5 years ago

Q) Why did the uncle sleep with his own nephew?

A) Cuz the boy wouldn't stop talking about Donald Trump every single weekend.

Pizza

Anonymous · 6 years ago

My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"

Attention! Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? It's strange because they haven't said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess). Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD, I just thought further into life with their relationship. DON'T DO THAT.

Message

Watersharky · 5 years ago

One day I was on my phone, then I got a text message from my girlfriend, "Hey, sexy boy, wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean...?" Then I just stopped and froze. I read the message. I said, "Yeah, sure..." She replied really fast, "There's going to be a few people there, ok." But I didn't read the next message... She said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." But I didn't read it. I walked into her house, but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise, and it sounded like HER!! So I hid behind the couch, and I looked through the open door and saw something I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!