Relationship jokes
I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one. 😀
Women are like dogs...
"Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?"
"Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?"
"I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here..."
SHOES
Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.
Why can orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses she missed very much.
She told her, "Hey, long time no see."
Say "I'm a man" after every sentence.
You walk into a bar. (I'm a man.) You find a girl. (I'm a man.) You take her home. (I'm a man.) She whispers in your ear. (I'm a man.)
I like my women like I like my scotch:
12 years old and mixed with coke.
I f*** my dad. Please help me. 😭😭😭😭
I like my girls like my coffee: Flat and white.
My new stepfather told me that I'm his new son, so I said okay.
My stepfather said that my and your mom have a few things in common. I said, "Yeah, like what?" My stepfather said, "Well, you came out of your mother's pussy; I eat your mother's pussy. You used to suck on your mother's tits; now I suck on your mother's tits. Your mother used to smack you in the ass when you act up; now I smack your mom in the ass now. Your mother calls me daddy; now I am your new daddy."
That's cringe, bro. The ex weas pisitive.
I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."
Gutted rn... the girl I loved hard just got in a relationship. She liked me too so I missed the chance. Idk if she still does... man...
I was making a bet with my grandfather about who would die first. I said that I would die first.
He said "Bet" and died after he drank his coffee.
He was my least favorite grandparent.
What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?
I beat both of them.
"Lemme clap your girl's booty cheeks, daddy papi."
Rape isn't a joke.
It's a type of way of making friends and to mate with other women.
It's a way of art, and works on anybody!
Like this if you agree.
My aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said, "If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or it's useless, throw it away."
The next time my aunt visited, she said, "Where is your daughter?"
My mom said, "I took your advice."
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
120 pounds.
Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!