Relationship jokes

How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.

Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?

'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.

Me and my mom order Chinese food. So when it came, my mom grabbed the egg roll and started to suck it down. Then I ask my mom what are you doing. Then my mom says, "I love you for 5 dollar."

I fucked your mom.

My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.

A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"

Sometimes women are like bad snacks. People try them and then chuck them in the trash.

Like, and comment if you're single.

What do your BF and the Twin Towers have in common?

They both never get erect.

I am gay, is that ok?

I be on top sucking dick all day. I make him bust every day.

Why shouldn't you say "I hate you" to your parents?

Ask an orphan.

My sister told me words don't hurt her, so I chucked a dictionary at her.

To Gwen and Freshfry: Hi Gwen and Freshfry, you have been so amazing to me and now to my sister. You are the people who I look up to. People are mean to us because I am adopted. Thank you for all of your support!

Yo mama so FAT...

That when she had sex with you...

Your balls turned to pancakes.

Roses are red, violets are blue, When I take out the trash, I remember you.

I could never date a midget.

We would never see eye to eye.

If someone is mean to an orphan just say, "I will call your mum," and make them cry even more.

Why can't orphans have gay sex?

They have no one to call "daddy."

I love my mom.

So an orphan played for a football team, and the coach said, "Your parents must be proud of you!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

What do you call a girl above age 16 who says she is a virgin? A liar.