Relationship jokes
Sometimes women are like bad snacks. People try them and then chuck them in the trash.
Had an amazing night with this girl, woke up, and it was my aunt. Now I’m in love.
Jack: Hey Josh!
Josh: What?
Jack: Sex!
Josh: Huh?
Jack: SEX!!
Josh: I don't get it.
Jack: Exactly ;)
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Dad!
Dad who?
Silence.
My girlfriend is like Toys R Us.
She does not exist.
A wife asks her husband: Am I pretty or ugly?
The husband answers her: Pretty.
The wife responds: Thank yo-
The husband interrupts her: Pretty ugly!
Why did Mrs. Henderson get a divorce from her husband, Harry?
She was tired of everyone calling the family "Hairy" and the Hendersons.
What did the Joker say to Harley Quinn?
Nothing.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Alabama.
Alabama who?
Alabama your cousin.
How do skeletons make love?
They bone each other!
Your classmate: You're so ugly.
Me: That's what your mom said when she had you and called you a mistake.
My wife accused me of cheating. I told her she started to sound like my wife.
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.
What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.
Why can't orphans have friends?
They will stay together.
He placed the chocolates and the flowers down beside her.
Silence...
And then at last she spoke...
"Unexpected item in the bagging area."
When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.
I have some words that might make sense to girls, but maybe not to boys, ready?
smart
kind
sweet
caring
loving
mature
My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!