Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Relationship Jokes
Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.
Your hairline goes further back than your mum's divorce.
If I like having sex and get with 15 people, are they getting sexified?
What's a lesbian's favorite weapon?
A finger-gun👉👌
If you got a crush and you are a 👧🏻 girl, let him lick 👅 your vagina.
Your sister: You're so ugly.
Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?
She be hubba on my bubba till I gum.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?
Guy and Girl are in the shower talking to each other.
Guy: Let's drop the soap.
Girl: Let's do it!
You used to be someone’s sunshine, but sorry, the climate changed. 😂😂😂😂
You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?
What hurts the most? 😹
A. Breaking up before chewing.
B. Breaking up after chewing.
Mbu some guys look financially stable until you start dating them... Mbu wait I see how this week goes...🤔
If you text your crush and they leave you on read, just know that "read" has four letters. You know what also has four letters? "Mine." So that basically means that you are theirs. :)
Why don’t cheetahs get married?
They always cheat on each other.
"There is no way you can fit in there."
"Says who?"
"Your mom."
"When?"
"Last night."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
The boomerang comes back.
A woman having labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said Doc to the worried husband.
“Those are just contractions.”
