Relationship jokes

I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.

I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.

You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.

Yo mama so ugly when she looked in the mirror, her reflection threw up and ran away.

Your hairline goes even further back than the last time your parents said "I love you."

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they can't call anyone their dad.

When I get jokes. They aren't f****** restarted like you.

My sister.

What is the difference between an orphan and a blanket?

One is actually used.

What is the difference between you and a calendar?

A calendar has dates.

You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.

True story: In 1986, in the midst of the HIV epidemic, they made condoms available to the public. At that time, me and my boyfriend were 13 years old. My boyfriend was so happy: "These will make great water balloons!" And I was even happier. I did not have to pack a lunch for school tomorrow, lol.

This morning, I was having a conversation with my ex-boyfriend about reincarnation. I said to him, "If you could come back in the next life as anything, what would you come back as?" He thought about it for a minute and says, "A tree. That way, everybody can look at me and admire me."

Then he says the same thing to me. I started thinking about it when these two sexy, half-naked studs walked by. One was a jock, the other on his bicycle. I know I said I want to come back as a jockstrap or a bicycle seat, but knowing my luck, I'll come back as a tampon.

Your eyebrows run away like your dad.

If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?

Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.

Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?

What do you call two AI systems that are in love with each other? Member of chat LGBT.

What are the odds of you being in a relationship that is going on in the next few months?

How did a man know his wife died?

Dishis start piling up.

What is the difference between interstate and intercourse?

What is the difference between a gay male who is not physically challenged giving a blowjob to a gay male that is not physically challenged, and a gay male who is physically challenged giving a blowjob to a gay male who is not physically challenged?

A gay male who is not physically challenged who receives a blowjob from a gay male who is physically challenged would still not believe that the physically challenged male is gay because the gay male who is not physically challenged is the definition of an asshole.

Girl: I’m so in love with you!

Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.

Girl: What’s the ijk?

Boy: I’m just kidding.