Your hairline and your eyebrows are like your parents, separated.
What's the difference between me and you?
I leave white stains in your mom's bed, and you leave white stains in my mom's bed!
What's the difference between sex and gender?
You can't have gender with your sister.
A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"
Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."
Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."
Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"
The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.
My uncle hid my weed, so I hid his wheelchair.
You don't have to worry about running while boys are around. Even I can't see anything there.
Know what a 6.9 is?
Another good thing screwed up by a period.
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
Me: Pretend your name is “puberty.”
Friend: Ok?
Me: I'mma hit puberty!
*hits my friend*
There was a girl called Millie, and she had sexy blond hair, and she wanted to chase me, but I told her she had to catch me first if she loves me.
What did Mickey Mouse say to Minnie Mouse: "I don't use condoms; I use my drawbridge."
A boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear, so he just went back to teaching.
So, I accidentally just tipped over my paralyzed sister.
A bully says, "I get 10x more girls than you" to a gay kid.
Then the gay kid says, "10 X 0 is still 0."
"Hey, today was great!"
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car!"
Mom, am I adopted?
What? No. "In head" No, dah, bitch.
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"
