Relationship jokes
"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."
"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"
What happened to the woman who dated a rapist?
She was date raped.
How do you know if a rapist loves you?
He will rape you many times.
The kid's dad was a magician because he disappeared and never came back.
What is the difference between E.T. and an orphan?
E.T. can actually call home.
My gf/bf said: "I'm dating your uncle!" You cry and you look under your bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?
One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.
When an African has a twin, your me??
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
Are you gay? Yeah, because I loved you.
Mate, my wife Susan has kicked me out again, anyone got a lift?
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?
Yo papa's wife is so dumb and fat that we had to use yo papa.
Every time my cousin and I, we settle it out with our game, so we play rock paper scissors. 😂🤣🤣
I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂
Q: Why are lesbians bad at math?
A: Because they can't multiply.
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.
Marry or don't marry, you will regret both!