What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Whats red, six inches long and made my girlfriend cry when i fed it to her? her misscarrage
I will Always Love You!
If sex before marriage is a sin, is sex after marriage cos or tan?
Me: My gf broke up with me yesterday and I had her wheel chair
Me: guess who came crawling right back
My wife called me ugly and then when she fount out how much money i actually make she called me ugly and broke
A : Whats the similarity between your girlfriend and the Sun?
B : They're both hot?
A : They're both massive.
How do you know when you should tell a heterosexual woman to stop sucking your dick?
When there is blood coming out of your dick instead of sperm.
Why are heterosexual women jealous of gay men?
because gay men can perform fellatio on men better than they can.
I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked, "What are you doing?" She replied, "Making a Creampie."
Doc: can I help u? Girl: doctor I have pain in my heart? Doc: when did it begin? Girl: right now ( seeing hem like doll ). Doc: hh..do you like me? I know I am handsome... Girl: No, don’t get me wrong. U just look like someone I know. Doc: Who is that? Is ur boyfriend? Girl: No, it’s my pet ( rabbit) his name is Rokie.
I told my sister I was into incest. She took it really hard. 😉😏
Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons. American: I won't ever see my dog again! Italian: I won't ever make pizzas again! German: Hey, granddad, how have you been?
Roses are red violets are blue were breaking up because I never love you
Kenney lost his virginity to a $10 hooker, but he only had to pay $5. She was his sister, so he got the family discount.
My girlfriend and I played Russian Roulette once.
We had sex afterwards even though she lost.
What's the hardest part about sex with a thai girl?
Her, probably
A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday, and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."
Woman: What’s a good comeback for my sexist husband when he tells me to go make him a sandwich?
Husband: I know! How about you COMEBACK with a goddamn sandwich?
Bully: "Nobody loves you."
Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."
