Your eyebrows are far from home just like your dad.
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered, "Y?"
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents.
Woman: A woman’s life is harder, there is menstruation, periods, birth...
Man: Men have to deal with women.
Every like this gets, I will kill a telemarketer.
Every dislike, I will kill a cute puppy.
Every comment, I will kill your ex bf or gf and send you a PS5.
Last week a girl asked me for sex. I had to disappoint her... so I said yes.
It's like your hairline and your forehead had a disagreement.
Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?
Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!
Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?
Kid 2: No!
your mum so cute that i asked for her number ans she said yes and now were dating
Roses are red,
My nuts are bigger than your small balls, that's why I get all the bitches.
Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.
I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.
Sometimes women are like bad snacks. People try them and then chuck them in the trash.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, grabbed her thigh, and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a daughter.
Haha, I fucked you over!
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car, then didn't talk to her for the rest of the day for no reason.
When an orphan takes a pic, is it known as a family picture? 📸
Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?
Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.
The only thing colder than Siberia is my girlfriend's ex!
Knock knock. Who's there? Well, I will tell you who's not there: my dad.
