Relationship jokes
When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.
Your mom.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.
It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. “No,” says the neighbor. “The seat is empty.” “This is incredible,” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?” The neighbor says, “Well, actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.” “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible... But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?” The man shakes his head. “No,” he says. “They’re all at the funeral.”
Jack: Hey Josh!
Josh: What?
Jack: Sex!
Josh: Huh?
Jack: SEX!!
Josh: I don't get it.
Jack: Exactly ;)
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife died.
When you're fucking your boss's daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.
My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!
Shaenaya is single, 16, and looking for a 30 year old man that can pleasure her, huh?
SHAENAYA WANTS TO SUCK EVERYBOYS DICK BESIDES MINE CAUSE SHE A THIRSTY HOE.
Shaenaya hates me, help! And she wants to suck off ******* and ****** and ***** and *****.
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad's half sister.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Slap it on the arse and tell it to keep going!
I like my coffee like my men, long and black.
What can you tell a dog, but not your girlfriend? Come.
I like my women like I like my coffee.
Dark, rich, and imported.
Guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop.
Person:
Guy: You walk into a bar.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You meet a girl.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You and the girl go to a hotel.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You guys go on a bed.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: She whispers into your ear...
Person: I'm a man!
My father is like Houdini. When he heard his girlfriend was pregnant, he disappeared.
What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?
He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.
I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.