Relationship jokes
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?
Nothing, he just started wanking.
When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"
Don't you hate when you have sex with your teacher, then remember you're home schooled?
When you’re fucking your boss and realize it’s a family business.
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So, she gets a divorce.
My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.
Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.
Once, there was a couple about to have sex. "I have something to confess," said the shy wife. The husband then said, "Whatever it is, I will still love." The wife then said, "Honey, I'm flat chested." The husband said, "It's okay, I'm a baby down there anyways." He then pulled down his pants and began to have sex.
The next day, the wife said, "I thought you were a baby down there." The husband then said, "I am; 22 inches and 7 pounds."
I told my friend yesterday he's literally my dad.
He didn't show up for the rest of the year.
Zach is a gay kid from Rob. Love you!
Evan, yo mum rode on my big PP love, dad.
Kate: Can we have a threesome?
Trevor: Sure.
The lights go off and Trevor starts doing what he's supposed to be doing, and then he feels something going up his back end. He goes to punch the person behind him, but then he turns on the light, and it was Kate behind him, and he's been fucking the guy the whole time.
Evan David Sandri is gay and he is adopted.
Evans so gay I mouth kissed him.
"Send me back, I never liked you."
Evan, me and your mom are done with you.
Evan, mom hot?
Your mom gay, Evan.
Mom hot.
Max Alexander Heart is adopted.