Relationship

Relationship jokes

Dad

  • I told my friend yesterday he's literally my dad.

    He didn't show up for the rest of the year.

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    Threesome

  • Kate: Can we have a threesome?

    Trevor: Sure.

    The lights go off and Trevor starts doing what he's supposed to be doing, and then he feels something going up his back end. He goes to punch the person behind him, but then he turns on the light, and it was Kate behind him, and he's been fucking the guy the whole time.

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    Friend

  • If your best friend tells you that he's gay for you, what do you do? Tell him, "Oh, nice gay ass."

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    Adoption

  • So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)

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    Phone

  • I was at my boyfriend's house, and I thought he was cheating on me. He was on the phone with somebody, and he said he'd be over there soon. So I asked him if I could see his phone. He said no, and then we fought about it until I saw his gun, and because I thought he was lying to me, I shot him, went through his phone, and his friend was still on the phone.