Relationship jokes
Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.
Husband: I look fat, can someone compliment me?
Wife: You have good eyesight.
If my phone battery lasted as long as my relationship, I would never be able to play on my phone.
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.
Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend asks, "Where is your girlfriend?"
The guy replies, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week, and you'll find out!"
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."
My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.
Wanna hook up at Mount Cook?
Your bitch has Covid-19.
Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?
Because she got Avogadro's number!
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.
What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"
I keep looking for my girlfriend's killer, but no one wants to do it.
So um uh I like people who like people who like people.
Why don’t orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma, why is that man in a box?"
And she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "What kind of box did he live in before?! How is this box better than the last one?! It's just a box!"
And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.
Hey Prince, let's chat here, okay? Love you!