New Relationship Jokes - Page 144

Son: Hey dad, why is my name Canada?

Dad: Because you were made there.

Mum: We haven't been to Canada.

Dad: Hol' up a minute.

Daughter: Where was I born?

Dad: Alabama.

Daughter: That is nice.

Mum: We have never been to Alabama.

Dad: RUN!

Son: Hey Dad, can I play Fortnite?

Dad: I don't know, do you want a girlfriend?

Girl: Mom, meet my boyfriend.

Mom: Meet my boyfriend.

Girl's boyfriend: Dad, is that you? Are you back from the supermarket with milk?

Mom's boyfriend: Uh, gtg.

Jack and Jill went up the hill for drunkin' wild sex.

Jack went by Jill to get a lick, and watched Jill get off on a stick.

Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a Viagra.

Jill was drunk, fell to her knee, Jack had his chance, did Jill till 3.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to start to build the still for Jill.

Jack stopped and said to drunkin' Jill, "To build this still will take so long."

Jill said to Jack, "Well, f--k the still and kiss my ass, and watch me take another pill!"

Jack and Jill went up the hill. They turned to drunks and have no will. Jill said to Jack, "Your love reveal, then think of building me a still."

A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes, my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah, I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that, he just found out his sister was cheating on him.

My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.

I ask my sister why does the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time. My siister said to me I love him long time.

My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your stepfather."

One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.

I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.

What happens when two pieces of bread from the same loaf have sex?

They become in-bread.

Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin', doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom You know we straight with doin' your mom I like your mama's big butt, and I cannot lie. You other brothers can’t deny that she’s fly. We make sexy time, yes and every night I tap that. She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I’m half black. But your moms the best, the super M.I.L.F. Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain’t a chef And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol But if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all. She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed. She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I’ll be honest She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna. She’s so therapeutic. When I need to cure my restlessness I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your moms breastestess. I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song Cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mo-om.

Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin', doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom You know we straight with doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin', doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom You know we straight with doin' your mom

I’m havin' sex with your mother That makes me better than you. I’m havin' sex with your mother That makes me better than you.