New Relationship Jokes - Page 153

Three guys walk into a bar: one Asian, one American, one Black.

A girl walks in and says if all three of your D*** sizes don't add up to 12 inches, I will shoot you.

First comes the American with 3 inches, then the Black man with 8.

It totals out to 11 and they look at the Asian and say "Oh no."

He comes to 1 inch to top off the twelve.

She walks away and says ok.

The Asian says, "You're lucky she was hot, so I had a boner!"

Mom: I apologize, Sam, for being so mean to you. <3

Sam: Thank you, Mother, for your apology.

Mom: jk

American says: "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai..."

Sardar ji says: "Accha, India me to shaadi.....Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"

What do you say to your partner with diabetes?

Hey, sugar!

I was in a toxic relationship. After some time, my girlfriend died. Her name was Happy. Still got no clue of her body, and here I am lying on the bed so fucking happy.

I like my boo like I like my packages: straight out of the box.

How did the cow break up with the other cow? He said he moo-ved on.

So, Dora is having a sleepover with her cousin Diego at Dora's house. Later that night, Dora's mom hears someone screaming, "Go Diego go!" for at least a couple of minutes, and then it stops, and she goes back to sleep.

But then she hears the same thing a couple of minutes later, so she walks in and hears "Go Diego go!" She walks over to Diego's sleeping bag and looks, and it's empty, so she walks over to Dora's sleeping bag and looks in and sees Dora getting f

... by Diego and hears Dora saying, "Go Diego go!" while moaning.

I was going to an expensive dinner with my friend's girlfriend because she really wanted to go, but he just got out of surgery, and he said take care of her, so I said, "Will do, bro. I’ll bring her back fuller than a topped-up water bottle."

What's the best thing about a blowjob?

- The silence.

What is the similarity between women and freezers?

We like to put our meat in them.

If depression is going to be my girlfriend, will she leave me?

So, one day I walk up to my sister and tell her that she is adopted because she doesn't look like anyone in the family. She starts to cry. My mom asks why she's crying, and I say I told her she was adopted and I was there for the adoption, and we have papers. It was all a lie. She is not adopted, and everything is fine.