Red jokes
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.
You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?
Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
I kicked a ball into someone. Now I got a red card.
Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards, it was red.
What did they give Elmo before he left the factory? Two test-tickles.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A nun in a blender.
What do you call it when Panera Bread gets painted red?
Panera Red.
If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,
that's a big red flag!
What are some red flags?
Chinese, Danish, Spanish, Turkish and Albanian.
How do you kill a Hindu? PRESS THE RED BUTTON.
Elmo, stop penetrating the orphan!
Mom, what happens if you swear at a church?
Well, honey, a tee posing nun with glowing red eyes and nunchucks will beat you.
Roses are red, I am Groot, Honey, where's my super suit?
Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."
Chuck: That's my sister, mister, and I'm gonna save her!
Red: snooore, snoooore
Silver: *straining to get outta buff eagle's grip*
Chuck: *goes super sonic speed and breaks outfit*
Chuck VS RED
Both LOSE!
I got them red Gucci bracelets.
Why does fireman wear red suspenders?
To hold his pants up.
What's pink, red, and silver and bumps into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.