Red jokes
Roses are red, violets are violet. I mean, come on, it's literally in the name!
What is white, then red, and is very fast?
My chainsaw blade.
That’s why the nickname for your hairline is the Red Sea.
Roses are red,
I am dead.
You could call me wet, or I will keep your dread.
What’s red and goes 90 miles an hour?
What's the quickest way to get to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
What do you do after raping a deaf person? Cut their fingers off so they don't tell anyone.
MORE JOKES COMING SOON LMAO ;]
Roses are red, violets are blue, but at least a dumptruck isn't as ugly as you.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Shrek is ugly, but not uglier than you.
What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.
You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?
Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
I kicked a ball into someone. Now I got a red card.
Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards, it was red.
What did they give Elmo before he left the factory? Two test-tickles.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A nun in a blender.
What do you call it when Panera Bread gets painted red?
Panera Red.
If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,
that's a big red flag!
What are some red flags?
Chinese, Danish, Spanish, Turkish and Albanian.