Newest Really Jokes - Page 2 - Worst Jokes Ever

I’m really good at algebra, I can replace your X without even asking Y

What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed Damn, that really stiff

me pausing my music to see if my
mum is really calling me or if it's just
the song
CO

I want that T-shirt

لا
20
YOURSELF
4
RTS
Reading
Japanese is
really easy.
You just
need to turn
your head
V sideways.

experiment

Optional Depression
33.3k points 4 months ago edited 4 months ago
I'd train gorillas in weightlifting, really see how tanked they can get. Boost them with steroids along
the way.
2
After that, I take my army of beasts, pump them full of cocaine, and let them loose in an empty
shopping mall.
Wanna see which stores they like and which ones they don't. Y'know, for science nshit.
Edit: I've had some fantastic input from you geniuses. To add: The gorillas will be trained in all
beefup exercises, even though science is against me on this one. We're gonna throw some PCP in
with the cocaine. Cybernetic hearts to handle the load of coke, yadda, yadda, yadda... thought I
had more on this. Oh! And the mall is empty because I'm not a freaking murderer, you guys! Quit
trying to kill everyone! Not all science is about death, geez.

Marriage is really educational

When I was single, I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put a fork in the dishwasher.

SLI
Snopes
VISIOO
BS.
MSNBC
they don't rearrange the
floor really fast when you
get on an elevator. it's a
totally different floor
H
FOX
NEWS
CN
VICE
abc NEWS
BET
NBC
OCBS
Sun
POLITICO
1971

CHILDHOOD IS WHEN
YOU IDOLIZE BATMAN
ADULTHOOD IS WHEN
YOU REALIZE CHEESE
IS REALLY EXPENSIVE

A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news for you. You really have to stop masturbating." The man looks aghast and says, "Oh my God, doc, why?!" The doctor replies, "I'm trying to examine you."

What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?

They both get really high.

ARE OTTER POSTS ON SOCIAL MEDIA
REALLY JUST A CRYPTIC FORM OF
EXTREMIST COMMUNICATION?
By: Ari Lurksberg
Published: 8/3/2021 19:03
Qf
PLEASE ACCEPT SOME CHOCCY MILK
Imgtip.com
FROM THIS KIND OTTER
NO

: Anonymous
gs.png
1.12 MB PNG
Do males really live like this?
Anonymous
#
01/08/20(Wed)09:44:29 No.127287357
12122F62-ED05-47F4-8796-FE6D529FF3E8.jpg
1.76 MB JPG
yeah although i put a cool t-rex lamp next to my bed
>>127288695 # >>127288733 # >>127288746 # >>127288796 # >>127288808
# >>127289443 # >>127290049 # >>127290237 # >>127290939 #
>>127291575 # >>127292232 # >>127292315 # >>127292894 # >>127295019
: Anonymous
>>127288591 #
that's fucking sick dude
>>127288799 #
01/08/20(Wed)10:18:37 No.127288591
: Anonymous
>>127288591 #
imbased t-rex chad
01/08/20(Wed)10:21:14 No.127288695
01/08/20(Wed)10:22:23 No.127288746

Ignore line & ovals

Faisal Saeed Al Mutar
20 hrs.
Like Page
It must be incredibly frustrating as an Islamic terrorist not to have your views
and motives taken seriously by the societies you terrorize, even after you
have explicitly and repeatedly stated them. Even worse, those on the
regressive left, in their endless capacity for masochism and self-loathing,
have attempted to shift blame inwardly on themselves, denying the terrorists
even the satisfaction of claiming responsibility.
It's like a bad Monty Python sketch:
"We did this because our holy texts exhort us to to do it."
"No you didn't."
"Wait, what? Yes we did..."
"No, this has nothing to do with religion. You guys are just using religion as a
front for social and geopolitical reasons."
"WHAT!? Did you even read our official statement? We give explicit Quranic
justification. This is jihad, a hely crusade against pagans, blasphemers, and
disbelievers."
"No, this is definitely not a Muslim thing. You guys are not true Muslims, and
you defame a great religion by saying so."
Huh!? Who are you to tell us we're not true Muslims!? Islam is literally at the
core of everything we do, and we have implemented the truest most literal
and honest interpretation of its founding texts. It is our very reason for being."
"Nope. We created you. We installed a social and economic system that
alienates and disenfranchises you, and that's why you did this. We're sorry."
"What? Why are you apologizing? We just slaughtered you mercilessly in the
streets. We targeted unwitting civilians - disenfranchisement doesn't even
enter into it!"
"Listen, it's our fault. We don't blame you for feeling unwelcome and lashing
out."
"Seriously, stop taking credit for this! We worked really hard to pull this off,
and we're not going to let you take it away from us."
"No, we nourished your extremism. We accept full blame."
"OMG, how many people do we have to kill around here to finally get our
message across?"

Neo-Confederates all claim to be about "heritage" not "hate". Well, if your heritage consists of Kelly Clarkson, riding on siblings, and treating Donald Trump as if he's the second coming, then it really sucks to be you.

Lol same

When I want to kill myself
What my friends think I do. What my mom thinks I do.
100101
MASCOATED
What society thinks I do.
Ahah
What I think I do.
That's a funny meme
What I really do.

Today was a really bad day. My mother-in-law was hit by a cab AND I lost my job as a cab driver!

Gym workouts

How I feel after leaving the
gym
How I really feel
33

"How would you describe a really bad skeleton?"

"Bad to the bone!" (Or "Rotten to the bone" if you want.)

My only friend who actually cares: Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!

Me: Okay I’ll cut it out.

Depression jokes