The 600+ Best Really Jokes

I sexually identify asi kilometers per second. Cuz I really wanna km/s

My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like

you know what really gets me under my skin when im down? sharpener blades

I showed my girlfriend my shotgun yesterday. It really blew her away.

A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either really terrible news or really great news.

Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?

You say "Tell me if you can hear me", then get in the trunk and start screaming.

I have an EpiPen

Friend gave it to me when he was as dying

It seemed really important to him that I have it

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.

I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.

I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he's a really deep sleeper.

Did you know that when pigeons have sex, they die?

Really?

Well, the one I F--ked did.

I went on a walk last night with a really hot girl. Then she noticed me and we went for a run.

Stephen Hawkings isn't really dead, he's just rebooting

I was talking to this absolutely gorgeous woman, and I asked her, “what do you do?” And she said, “I’m a brain surgeon.” And I don’t know if this makes me sexist or not, but I was really impressed. Most women can’t pull off sarcasm

I told my sister I was into incest. She took it really hard. 😉😏

An atom loses an electron... It says, "Man, I really gotta keep an ion them."

I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, "Don't get an erection, don't get an erection"... But she did.