I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back till I realized it is a family business.
When Steven Hawking realizes heaven is only a stairway away.
You know some of these jokes took me 9 minutes and 11 seconds to realize. When I did, it hit me like a plane.
I was gonna tell a self harm joke, but realized it would cause too much pain.
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
When Covid spreads through food, but you realized you live in Africa.
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
When you realize you forgot to mop your room, you hear footsteps.
What's worse than eating 5 raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Realizing you only put in 4.
I was hunting at night for deer, and then I found one and shot it. I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex...
What's in a man's mouth when he realizes he's gay?
A dick.
I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.
Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"
The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"
Johnny replies: "Sure."
After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.
Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"
The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."
After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.
I once had clothes that were so unbearably uncomfortable,
but I never realized they suited me.
John Cabot was the first to explore the Coast of Labrador. After he left, he realized that he had forgotten something and had to go back to get whatever it was. This made him the first Labrador Retriever.
A man goes to a doctor and says he's having problems shitting, so the doctor gives him an enema and says he needs to do it a few times at home, but does the first one for him. So the guy bends over the table, lubes him up, and shoves it deep in him, and he yells.
So later, the man goes home and tells his wife he needs her help with the enema. So he bends over, she lubes him up, puts a hand on his shoulder, and she shoves it up there, and he starts screaming and cussing, and the wife asks, "Did I hurt you?" He said, "No, I just realized when the doctor did it, he had both hands on my shoulders."
Yo momma decided to go to KFC until she realized she had to share with her family, so she bought ten buckets and the cashier said, "Here is the receipt." Now yo momma got afraid of how much money she had to spend, despiting on how she spent more than Drake's net worth that he can even lend. She went back home seeing her family looking at her and the KFC, thinking that could be her rent, but the whole family dug into the food. By the second they see the plates empty and seeing the lazy mom steady, she ate so much she wasn't ready until she fell, which caused an earthquake, which made her go to jail, which caused her to be scary.
A woman is lying in bed after making love to her lover. After a moment, she starts to roll over, and in the process, she realizes that the spent condom is still inside her.
Worried, she wakes up her lover. She asks, “What should we do about this?” To which he replies: “Who was it?”
Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.
When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:
